“My Name is ______.
I am a Dopeless Hope Addict.”

© (7-25-03) John L. Stevens

Life seemed to suck.
The pain seemed so real.
The drugs seemed so easy
To change what I did feel.

At first it seemed to help
To cover up the pain.
But the sucking sound I heard
Was my life, down the drain.

The hole I found myself in
Got deeper by the day.
Hope seemed to fade from me
That help was on the way.

The help I sought and found
Was the “friends” who got me here.
Those who had the pot, the meth,
The drugs and the beer.

The family I once had loved,
Seemed distant from me now.
My love had turned to hate
By the love of drugs somehow.

The hole caved in on me
From a distance I could hear.
“We loved her, Oh so very much”
“We failed her. Somehow my Dear.”

They pulled me from the darkest hole
I, myself, had dug.
And took me into their arms
To rescue me from drug.

The days turned into many weeks.
My head began to clear,
To see the ones who really love me.
My hate was not so near.

A cloud of doubt and guilt rained down
For the things I had done.
Soon love returned to fill my heart
Where once the drugs had won.

Forgiveness came from those who loved,
To me, for the many years.
For the pain and sorrow I had caused
To them, through many tears.

A group of families gathered ’round
With love so great for me.
I soon discovered through the tears
Their abundant love was free.

I felt the love of those who care.
I learned to love again.
To care once more for what I’d lost.
To trust and live within.

When temptation comes to my door
To offer me a high.
Let Love instead answer the knock
And with Serenity say – goodbye!

(9-22-04 added 4 lines)

This story has not ended. It will continue for a life time. Life is about decisions we make on a daily basis. It dictates what we will possibly do tomorrow based on what we do today. Life is built on decisions. The end of the story will be written when we meet the One who loves us unconditionally. The One who died on the Cross for us.
(2-22-04)

Love triumphs over adversity when God is in it. “Never give up” must be the words to live by. Progress is made even when there are two steps forward and one step back. Thank God for the progress. Hope lives on in the hearts of those who trust Him.
(2-8-06)

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8 Comments to ““I am a Dopeless Hope Addict.””

  1. admin says:

    From Hello Poetry
    Paul Celano Jun 28, 2010
    this is amazing. I am honored to read it

    John Stevens Jun 28, 2010
    This was written at the end of the second day of parent/patient sessions at the Walker Center. I have never felt so compelled to write. It just flowed from the pen. I was rather stressed and had to get it out. Thanks Paul for reading and commenting. It really is an ongoing story and it get better all the time. There is always hope where there is love.
    —————–
    D Conors Jun 28, 2010
    How many gifted writers have had this feeling!
    You have truly set it to stone!

    John Stevens Jan 24
    I was looking through stuff here and noticed I did not reply to your comment. Where was my head? Over the last 7 months you have become a great friend. Thank you again for seeing something in my poetry worth while D.
    ——————
    Mari Jul 14, 2010
    John, this is a superbly inked write. It touched me on all levels and all senses. How wonderfully you narrate the story of addiction and you do so with great sensitivity and empathy and in a loving and caring way. You shock the reader with the blunt visual detail of the hopelessness of addiction, regardless of what the drug is. I am filled with joy to see a happy ending to this particular story John, because sadly, not all such stories end happily. Hope of recovery shines in the poem and I pray it will ever shine as a guiding star for those who need it’s light in their lives. It is a great privilege to read your wonderful work John and I thank you for so very kindly sharing it. God bless you always.

    John Stevens Jul 14, 2010
    My daughter is bi-polar. When she goes off the meds things get a little scary. It has affected her motor skills some. She has told me she would not have survived if I had not stuck with her in all her pain. We adopted her when she was born. When she figured out what that meant she tested our love to the breaking point. It would not break. Bent it a bit but my God straighten it out again.

    Your words are a great affirmation for Hope.
    ———————
    David Lowry Jul 18, 2010
    John, I volunteer six hours a week at a drug and alcohol treatment center. You poem touches me. It’s the real deal and anyone who has fought an addiction to come out on the other side will instantly understand it. Nicely done my friend.

    John Stevens Jul 18, 2010
    I am in a group called Celebrate Recovery. I am the old dude who has never done drugs or C2H5OH. Feel free to copy and use if you so wish.
    ———————-
    Mary Cate OMalley Sep 3, 2010
    What poetry is really for.

    John Stevens Sep 3, 2010
    Thank you for a most appreciated comment.
    ———————-
    Shasta Lee Jan 15
    This was absolutely beautiful! I…I don’t even know what to say besides the fact that it was stunningly compelling. You must have really been able to connect with these people!

    John Stevens Jan 15
    One of them was my 17 year old daughter at the time this was written. If you know someone who could use it feel free to give it to them. There is one called “Forgiven” another called “Above the Storm” you might be able to use.

    Thanks for being such a great friend to the people around you. I know they appreciate it.

    Shasta Lee Jan 15
    Thanks, I think I will show it to them =)
    Also, your daughter was very lucky to have a father like you =) I’m sure she either has realized it, or will =)

    John Stevens Jan 15
    It is not in me to quit. When I think I can go any farther, the Lord gives me just enough strength to keep going forward. She has said I am her rock.
    ————————
    Pebbles Jan 15
    From one who has seen many people be consumed by drugs , to here a story where even one person digs through to the other side is a blessing .. brilliant poem john x

    John Stevens Jan 15
    Thanks Pebbles. See my comment to Shasta.

    Pebbles Jan 16
    thankyou john :)

  2. Steph Chao says:

    hey there i’ve been skulking around on the community forums for some time (yes, i’m shy), but just wanted to quickly chime in and let you know that your RSS feed wasn’t working properly just now. i like the content on this site and am a regular reader… so yeah… please fix it! thanks.

  3. Sara Stevens says:

    I had a daily encouragement devotional tear-out I saved from an old 365 day calendar a few years ago now that stays taped to the wall in my bedroom which reads, “God’s purpose is greater than your problems”.
    After reading this poem written by the most beautiful person I’ve ever known, my own father! What a blessing he is to me! and to so many others through our family’s website I am beginning to learn. I have yet to know his true impact in this life, and just felt like I needed to share a little something that has stayed with me along my path and lit the way in times of strife. I hope someone else can appreciate it now as well. Thanks for the responses and keep them coming! They mean so much.

  4. Bob Sojka says:

    John,

    I love the title. I love the sentiments. When you need an editor for your first book of poems, look me up, amigo.

    Cheers,
    Bob

  5. Cathy Voss says:

    Thank you for this wonderful piece. It touched my heart as I have been there and done that. Thank you for sharing it with me.

  6. admin says:

    Thanks Jason. It was written in two hours after the second day of parent patient interactions at a rehab center. There is always hope. Especially when God is doing the directing.

  7. Jason Elkins says:

    Dang! This is great. Everything from the title, to the flow from one extreme to the other. I can see this poem in a frame, on the wall of every treatment and recovery center across the country.

    Nicely done!

    Jason
    TransparentChristianMagazine.Com

  8. Kara V. says:

    Wow – you should send this one to the paper or the Walker Center.

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